However, I found much joy and comfort with the arrival of Kimberly Dark ! She and I read together last summer in San Diego. And, surprise surprise… I walk into the lobby of the dining hall and there is Anthony Hawley– a Columbia MFA friend of mine. I had no idea he was going to be here, let alone that he was here as an artist! Very cool.

Oh, and here’s a better picture of the collage I made last week with the artists in Firehouse Studios.

and here’s the back of the card (we were all given a sentence or two from this obscure book and we had to create a collage based on the sentence/s). You try to make the connection between the collage and the sentence…

I also made some broadsides for the writers who left on Saturday. I took ads from some vintage (1954) movie magazines that I brought from home and then printed on them– in old typewriter font– a line or two from the writers’ readings. I forgot to take pictures of them except for this one, which was for Sarah C.

If you click on it you can see it bigger but the line is from Sarah’s story and reads:

“Rebecca couldn’t sleep for fear of the wolf”

and the ad is for Lustre Creme shampoo and featuring actress Debra Paget.

My writing is going well here. But the more I write, the more I see what a BIG project my book is, and that it is something that is really going to take some time.Whenever I tell people here at VSC about they book they all say it sounds great but sounds like a lot of work.

Hmpf.

It is a lot of work, and I wonder if i’m in over my head writing about a time, place, people, world, I don’t really know (but isn’t that what writing is all about?). I think about writers like David Ebershoff, who wrote the exquisite The Danish Girl. I’m sure he wasn’t an expert on Transgenders or on 1920s Copenhagen and 1930s Dresden. Still, David Ebershoff is pretty brilliant, probably bordering on genius (I should know, I worked as his research assistant for another book while in NYC).

Part of me thinks I should work on something else–like stories, in addition to this book (not while i’m here, but when I get back), or maybe I should try to write essays about what i’m writing the book about; short pieces about the film i’m writing about– for journals and magazines. Something to ‘finish’ as it were–to allow myself the feeling of accomplishing something every once in a while. The scrap of satisfaction for a job well done. Because I just don’t see me finishing this for a long time. Anyway, getting a good draft of this out here at VSC, and really working on character development, and that’s what’s important.

And, thankfully, still have all of the other wonderful residents and faculty here at VSC– folks like Tracy, Rachel, Marin, Tatiana, Matt, Jonathan, Ariana, Jang Soon, JoAnna, Marcie, JT, Jason, Louisa, Eric, Bruce, Nick, Sang-hee, Steven, Lia, Giordanne, Kristie, Nicole, JC, Kim, etc etc (lots of names I still don’t know!). <–CLICK THE NAMES AND SEE THESE AMAZING ARTISTS AND WRITERS!!

So, 2 more weeks (well, really only about 11 days).

5 nights with 3,000 men in tents. Pool parties. Swimming in the River. Drinking beer. Cooking (once or twice) at our little stove. Seeing Eduardo camp. Dancing to good and bad music. Meeting many new, cool people.

As much as I might complain about dirt and porta-potties, and cold showers, and cold tents… I do love being outside, in nature. And the Russian River is such a beautiful place. Leafy trees lining the river, gorgeous rays of sunlight slicing through the forest. Swimming in the cool cool river. Feeling the sun on my face. Hearing the wind and the birds.

This was mine and Ted’s 2nd time at Lazy Bear; our first time was two years ago– if you don’t know of Lazy Bear Weekend it’s pretty much 3,000 (mostly bear-identified) men invading Guerneville –the resorts and campsites–for a week of hanging out, meeting people, going to pool parties, bbq’s, campfires. You meet men from all over the U.S. and beyond.

This year we took Eduardo and Caglar and met up with Aaron (from NYC), John T, and Fernando (both from SF, but formerly NYC), Jason F and A.J. I drove up with Jason W. Yes, drove. From San Diego up to SF in one day. But it took two days to get back we were so tired. We stayed at Camp Outback, owned by the wonderful Mike and Tracie who served continental breakfast every morning and greeted us with smiles and great conversation. They are really remarkable people– thanks for having us! (all 250 of us…).

We had such an awesome group of guys with us. And so diverse! From Mexico, Turkey, Panama, and Santee (me).

That’s the other thing, maybe the most important thing, about Lazy Bear weekend– being with friends, making new friends, camaraderie, hugs/affection, support, laughing, honesty, messy hair. We don’t do that a whole heck of a lot in the gay community– we are often so concerned with appearance and image and ‘going out’ and partying that we tend to forget to enjoy the little, silly things like making a pyramid in the middle of the Russian River; cooking hotdogs wrapped in bacon on a camp stove; taking goofy pictures; dancing to bad techno.

Rumor has it that Eduardo really DID have a good time (and might be back for more next year…).

Here are a few pics. The first is Jason W’s Hello Kitty Princess tent, which was the hit of the entire Outback Campsite.

Group photo: Caglar, Aaron, Jason W., Ted, unidentified man, Eduardo, John T, Fernando.

And, of course, me. In my Starsky & Hutch Sunglasses and new bushy stache.

You can see more on my Flickr account by clicking any of the photos.

No blogging from me for the next five-six days. I’m going camping in the woods of Guerneville for the annual Lazy Bear weekend, with Ted, Eduardo (yes, we are taking Eduardo Camping–scary, eh?), the Jasons, Charlar, and Aaron from NYC.

I promise pics when I get back.

Have a fun, safe, happy weekend.

Saw movies:

Sex and the City –was ok, fun. I never really watched the show but Ted did. It seemed a tad too long but it wasn’t torture.

Batman/Dark Knight– i’m not much of a comic book/superhero person (though I like the X-Men movies) so this one didn’t totally blow me away like it did Ted. Still, the acting is superb (Go Maggie Gyllenhall!) and the action scenes (while kind of confusing) were fun.

Tell No One– saw this by myself the other day. Wow. Wow. Totally held me captive by the mystery. Such a cool, noir-ish French film (and it’s based on an American Novel by Harlan Coben). The lead actor, Francois Cluzet, was outstanding– and looks a bit like a taller, more handsome (and younger) Dustin Hoffman. Kristin Scott Thomas again shows what a strong character actress she is becoming; she plays the lover of the leading man’s sister. I don’t speak French but it seemed to me that KST spoke it very well. Really a compelling, thrilling film.

Ok, so I also watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake) on Spike TV the other day. You know me, I need my horror fix every once in a while. I have to say, the film creeped me out AND the cinematography (washed out, grainy, blues and oranges) was gorgeous. I think it was heavily edited for TV but I still enjoyed it. (and Jessica Biel gives good scream).

I read magazines:

Picked up the Atlantic Monthly‘s Special Fiction Issue. Though the stories are good the best thing for me was reading Ann Patchett’s essay, My Life In Sales– which is about going on book tour. She’s funny, bitchy, smart. I’ve never gone on a book tour myself (unless you count going to SF for the reading from the book Ted and I edited or readings in LA and NYC i’ve done for various anthologies i’ve been published in<-shameless plug for myself) but I’m always interested in hearing about my friends‘ various book tours–the good the bad and the ugly– and it was so intriguing and entertaining to read a successful, seasoned writer’s take on the (not always successful) tour.

Her friend, and fellow writer, Allan Gurganus had this to say about book tours: “The only thing worse than going on book tour is not going on book tour.”

Another excerpt:

Perhaps I should put my novels in a sample case, the expensive new hardbacks on one side, the smaller, friendlier paperbacks on the other, and go door to door through some neighborhood in St. Louis with my wares. If someone wanted me to stand on the sidewalk and read to them, I would read. If somebody wanted his or her book gift-wrapped for the holidays, I would wrap. If they wanted to cry in my arms, I would hold them. The door-to-door sales perfected by Fuller Brush and various encyclopedia companies seem to operate on a more reliable formula than the schemes of publishing houses.

I love her! Read the whole thing here.

I finally made my way back to Louise Erdrich’s The Plague of Doves after a couple of weeks of not reading it (I know, shameful, right?). Most of my reading was done on Thursday while I waited for my car to get fixed in the shop (just a tune-up actually). If you live in San Diego and want honest, friendly, affordable car repair/service then run, don’t walk to Hillcrest Smog & Repair. It’s a family owned business that has been around for over ten years. They are so cool, friendly, easygoing. Not to mention the owner’s daughter (who I believe is also one of the mechanics) is this amazingly beautiful Asian woman– she looks like Lucy Liu.

Anyway… I still like the book, but it does seem (as some reviewers have mentioned) to read like a story or novella collection. Indeed many of the ‘chapters’ or sections have been published in mags like The NewYorker.

I have so many books to read but so little time. How does one do it? One of my favorite bloggers is Amy Shearn over at Moonlight Ambulette (HER BOOK, How Far is the Ocean From Here, IS NOW OUT!!!). She reads, like, a gazillion books a week. What’s her secret? Inquiring minds want to know.

Ted and I have been going to the beach off and on. It’s so beautiful and peaceful at the beach. I love it there. We live in San Diego, not 5 minutes from the beach, but the only time we ever go is in the summer.

We went to the Gay Pride Parade in San Diego. It was packed! It seemed to me there were more people than ever there–and all kinds of people: couples gay and straight, families (one of my best pals, and a former student, brought her teenage daughter), old and young. I could barely see the floats for the crowds of people. After the parade we went with Eduardo to the Lafayette Hotel –it was Eduardo’s birthday. The Lafayette has been around for what seems like centuries (really since 1946). All the famous stars would stay here. Hunky Johnny Weissmuller (Olympic swimmer and former movie Tarzan) designed (and I hope swam in) the pool. Eduardo and his pals Jen and Dave and Liz and John got three rooms poolside and we basically took over the hotel. We swam, talked, ate and drank too much, and basically frolicked like rock stars. It was one of the best weekends i’ve had since we’ve been back in San Diego and I thank all of them for including us.

Here are pictures:

(from left to right: Eduardo contemplates Pride and turning 50 er, 45; Ted dons cowboy hat to show his western Pride; BA, Rob and Cassie poolside at the Lafayette; Ted thinks he’s a rockstar if he wears a cowboy hat in a hotel pool and rides a blow up pink flamingo; Rob and BA in the fancy Lafayette dining room; Debra, Liz and John looking fabulous in orange lighting;Jen and Dave (aka sexiest couple of the millenium–second place goes to Liz and John); what happens at the Lafayette Pool stays at the Lafayette Pool. (photos courtesy of John).

Sooooo, the bottom line is: I so needed a week like this.

Next up for me and Ted (and Eduardo, too): Lazy Bear Weekend in Guerneville! (AKA Camping with the bears).

I don’t remember how I discovered Etsy–oh, wait, yes I do, it was an ad in ReadyMade Magazine.

I’m getting to the purpose of this post in a moment, I swear.

Anyway, I went to a birthday party last week, for two friends (that I met through Eduardo) who are just about as cool as Etsy (not to mention they are two of the most attractive people in San Diego). At the party was this neato woman who had the funniest tattoo. It was a moustache, tattooed to her finger, so that when she put her finger under her nose it looked like a little drawn ‘stache under her nose. It was hilarious. I’m probably really behind the times on this but it was new to me.

I discovered it’s called a fingerstache and apparently it’s sweeping the country. There’s even a wikipedia entry about it (of course).

It got me thinking about how much I love mustaches. (ok, I just typed moustaches, but my spell check told me it was wrong!–what gives? Is moustache the European spelling and mustache the redneck spelling?).

A few months ago, you may remember, I bought this fun felt badge with a mustache on it (from MooseandBear– a great Etsy seller).

So yesterday I decided to do a search on Etsy for more mustache items and low and behold there are a TON! It’s easy– all you have to do is type in “Mustache” (or Moustache) in the search engine on the Etsy website, and a whole bunch of Moustache items appear, such as:

These ginger mustaches– party favors for your guests to wear. (from the seller Lupin)

This Ron Burgundy felt doll with that funky lil ‘stache. (from Kezzaroo)

This mustache book bag. (from Eriogonum)

This awesome print, called “Mustache Princess” (from CuriousZoo)

This freaking crazy pillow! which comes with velcroed mustaches!

MUST HAVE THIS PILLOW (from sallyenglanddesign) There’s also a smaller version of the pillow.

And, of course, the item i’m STILL pining for…

The Mustache Comb Necklace. (by Makool)

Sigh.

Wouldn’t I look cool with that? Tiny running shorts on, and striped tubesocks pulled up to my knees, my shirt unbuttoned down to my navel and the mustache necklace swinging like a pendulum between my chiseled pecs?

<–eduardo, in case you hadn’t guessed

I see Eduardo about once a week socially; definitely one of the great things about being back here in San Diego. We chat, we laugh, we talk about our dreams and hopes and fears and lives. He’s living one of his dreams– he owns the salon! (and to think I met him when he worked in a flower stand). Today he told me he thinks there should be a reality show based on his life. The crazy, zany things he does, the parties, the haircuts, the clients, the sex (not with the clients, mind you), the drugs, the rock and roll, the struggles of trying to understand his English. Eduardo is always surrounded my the most fabulous people– models, strippers, dancers, artists, designers, and then there’s me and Ted– two bears former bears (thanks Weight Watchers!). Somehow we fit in there, though I often feel like such a square when I’m with his fabulous friends. But his fabulous entourage is always filled with gracious, funny, engaging and engaged people (we once rode on a party bus with all of them– a night that will go down in infamy).

Anyway, I took a few pictures of my hairdo when I got home (I thought i’d better before Ted makes me wash all the gunk out of it). I’m not very good at taking my own picture but here they are:

it’s a bit spikey, and kind of mullet-y–but i’m going to wash it and pat it down so Ted will never know! He’s not crazy about the mullet– but at my age, i’m lucky I have hair! you know? There’s not a whole helluva lot I can do with it. Hey, I finally stopped wearing it in a Ceasar (yeah, I worked that one for about 6 years too long).

So, anyway, when I was taking pictures of my hair, I noticed I was getting the wall right above my computer– the wall I face– in the photos. I decided I would show you my bulletin board– the one I look at while typing blogs, or writing, or doing school stuff. I love my bulletin board. It makes me smile. It gives me inspiration. The paper underneath the photos and things tacked up was designed by my friend Scott-the-Craft guy in NYC. He makes fabric, so the paper was actually a fabric design pattern he made and gave me. Anyway, here’s my bulletin board (i’ll try to explain some of the thingys on it–sorry about the quality of the pics, i’m not very good at photos):

Here’s a little paper doll of some wrestler– I think his name might be Goldberg or is it Steve Austin? Anyway, he’s standing next to a picture of me and my two sisters one Christmas, probably about 1979.

this is one of those Tops Bubblegum trading cards/stickers– of

Cheryl Ladd– the newest (at the time) Charlie’s Angel (my friend, Peter, sent me that; he’s an AK-Tor in Hollywoodland). You can see Scott’s paper behind it.

This is one of my favorite pictures of me and Ted, from the day after our wedding in 2005. The button above it says Trans and Proud. I’m not trans, but if I were I would be proud and i’d wear the button.

This corner of the bulletin board has a little teeny picture of me and Eduardo (from when we were dating–in one of those photo booths–I don’t even remember taking it but i’m glad I have it. I’m wearing this JCrew fisherman’s hat that is so dorky when I look at it now). The middle picture (hard to see) is Jason Mraz– my other boyfriend. The pic next to Mraz is just a haircut that I kind of liked a few years ago and decided to keep the pic because of that. The one above is Alan Ginsberg and Peter Orlovsky from 1958. That Peter Orlovsky was really handsome. Once my sister saw this postcard on my refridgerator and she asked if they were a couple of friends of mine.

This shows another Tops Baseball card but this one is of Tom Selleck, hubba hubba. Next to Tom is my cat, Hermia (16yrs old!) and her little toy, Snuggles. Next to that is a note to myself to send the next chapter of my novel to my writing ‘coach’. And below that is a postcard of Jack Kerouac holding a cat. And… next to that is an old photo of a really sweet actor named Lon McCallister who I thought seemed like a nice person.

Elsewhere on the bulletin board (I just discovered I like saying the word “elsewhere”–it makes me feel British. Say it, you’ll see what I mean), I have pictures of Susan Hayward and Joan Crawford, a postcard of our favorite bar: The Phoenix in E. Village, NYC, postcards of movie cowboys, a very tattoo’d man, a paint-by-numbers cat, and a cowboy and cowgirl couple. Oh, and and a picture of this thing I want to buy from Urban Outfitters. and a clip of film showing June Allyson slapping Joan Collins from the movie “The Opposite Sex.”

Ok. I’m going to try to do some work. I swear.